When Is It Time to Sell the Family Home?
- 1 day ago
- 4 min read
One of the things we appreciate most about our line of work is that we get to see how differently families approach the same questions.
This summer, we had the pleasure of working with a family who had owned their home for more than 30 years. Their story reminded us of a few things that can be easy to overlook when you've lived in the same home for decades—particularly how much history a house can hold, how complicated the decision to sell can become, and how useful it is to plan ahead.
A home built together
The family purchased their home in 1991, after immigrating to the United States. In those early years, they pooled their resources as a family to make the purchase possible. Three brothers and their parents had initially lived with relatives, saving what they could and combining their money with a small amount from land that had been sold in their home country. Eventually, they were able to purchase a home of their own.
The older brothers were young adults at the time, and everyone contributed. It was a family effort, and the home became the backdrop for several chapters of their lives. More than 30 years later, that history was still very much a part of the decision about what to do with the property.
When circumstances change
As the parents got older, the family made changes to the home to make it possible for them to continue living there independently. Eventually, after their father passed away, their mother was no longer able to live safely in the home on her own and moved into care. The house sat vacant for about a year. At that point, the family had to decide what came next.
Unsurprisingly, there wasn't one obvious answer. The home had been an important part of their family's life for a long time, and everyone had a connection to it. At the same time, maintaining a vacant home indefinitely wasn't necessarily the right choice either. As with many family decisions, there were different opinions about how to move forward. What we appreciated was watching them work through those differences and ultimately come together around a common goal.
We've been fortunate to see this many times through our work. Families don't always agree on every detail, but they often find a way to work together when there is something important to figure out.
There is no single right time to sell
We are often asked some version of this question: When is the right time to sell the family home?
There simply isn't a universal answer.
For some families, making a few changes to the home and finding the right support allows an older parent to remain at home for many more years. For others, moving closer to family, downsizing, or transitioning into another type of care makes more sense.
Sometimes the house has simply become more than the family needs. Sometimes it has become difficult or expensive to maintain. And sometimes the decision is made because circumstances have changed in a way that leaves the family with little choice. The important thing is having enough information to make the decision thoughtfully, rather than waiting until a decision has to be made quickly.
Thirty years leaves a history
This particular story also reminded us of another lesson: keep records.
Over more than three decades of ownership, the family had made a number of improvements to the property, including work on the kitchen, windows, flooring, and plumbing. Then, as part of preparing the home for sale, a new roof, interior painting, flooring, landscaping, and other repairs.
Some of those improvements may be relevant when determining the property's tax basis and potential capital gain. The details depend on the circumstances, which is why we always recommend discussing tax questions with a CPA or other qualified tax professional.
But even aside from the tax implications, keeping a record of what you've done to a home can be incredibly useful. After 20 or 30 years, it can be surprisingly difficult to remember when something was done, who did the work, or how much it cost. Receipts and invoices tend to disappear, contractors move or retire, and memories get fuzzy. A simple record kept over time can make that process much easier.
And there is another benefit we see when it comes time to sell: the history of the home becomes useful to the next owner.
When we're preparing a longtime family home for the market, being able to tell a future buyer what has been replaced, repaired, or improved gives them a much better understanding of the property. A well-maintained home with a documented history tells a different story than a home where no one knows what has been done over the years.
What happens next
This family's story got us thinking about how many homeowners eventually find themselves in a similar position.
Maybe you've owned your home for 30 years. Maybe your parents have. Maybe you're beginning to think about what will happen to the house someday, even though you're not ready to make any decisions yet. Those conversations can bring up questions about aging in place, family dynamics, taxes, estate planning, home improvements, and eventually the sale itself. None of them need to be figured out all at once.
Over the next few months, we're going to explore some of the practical questions that come up when a family has owned a home for decades. Our hope is that these pieces give you a few things to think about before you need them. Because after 30 years, a home is rarely just a house. It is usually the record of a lot of life—and eventually, every family has to decide what comes next.
Stay tuned for blogs that will dive into the following topics:
What happens to your tax basis after 30 years of homeownership?
What is a step-up in basis, and why does it matter?
What should you actually keep in your records over the years?
Tax laws and individual circumstances vary. This blog is intended as general information and is not tax or legal advice. We recommend consulting your CPA, tax advisor, or estate planning attorney regarding your specific situation.
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